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| I am updating my xanga, and let me tell you, it is fun stuff. yes indeed. fun. hmmmmm. what to say? I dont know. I apologize for thinking out loud if thats what youd call it. what would you call thinking outloud on the internet xanga thing entry? hmmmm. E-thinking....out loud..... to myself. yes. I am torn between playing football or not but due to popular demand i think i just might. Cause nowadays there aint many things that really make me happy cept..... Alison, my guitar, and makin people laugh. I think I'm going to become a stand-up comic. That or a fireman. What do you guys think? Do you think I have what it takes to be a comedian? Or should I turn to my other passion....fire? Well I just am one confused guy when it comes to my life. I just dont know quite what to do with it. I feel like I should go to college and everything since i am a super-genius, but I dont really want to because I dont really care if I get a job that has good pay. cause in the words of the Beatles. " I dont care too much for money, cause money Can't Buy Me Love." | | |
| Jesus was way cool
Everybody liked Jesus
Everybody wanted to hang out with him
Anything he wanted to do, he did
He turned water into wine
And if he wanted to
He could have turned wheat into marijuana
Or sugar into cocaine
Or vitamin pills into amphetamines
He walked on the water
And swam on the land
He would tell these stories
And people would listen
He was really cool
If you were blind or lame
You just went to Jesus
And he would put his hands on you
And you would be healed
That's so cool
He could've played guitar better than Hendrix
He could've told the future
He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world
He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
He could've danced better than Barishnikov
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
Jesus was way cool
He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
That's so cool
Jesus was so cool
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
So they killed him
But then he rose from the dead
He rose from the dead, danced around
Then went up to heaven
I mean, that's so cool
Jesus was way cool
No wonder there are so many Christians | | |
| Once upon a time there was a girl named Alisoon. not Alison, Alisoon. And she was the most beautiful girl in all the land.
And her name was Alisoon.
And she lived in a beautiful castle.
And she was captured by a dragon.
A fat dragon, named Lauroon.
not Lauren.
Lauroon.
And this dragon was so evil and fat. I tell you it was bad.
Any way she smelled real bad and was imprisoning Alisoon in a dungeon.
Alisoon cried out from the dungeon for help but no one heard her.
Until one day, a young stud riding a horse named Nelsoon went by the castle. He heard Alisoon screaming and he rushed to the castle to see what the problem was.
He knocked on the castle door and the door flung open and there stood a witch.
the witches name was Emiloo
not Emily
Emiloo
she was the ugliest witch ever
Well quick-thinking Nelsoon knew that she was so ugly he busted out his mirror and shined it in her face
she was soo ugly, when she saw how ugly she was she killed her ugly self
young Nelsoon continued through the castle
until he came upon an old Indian Oracle named Hannooh
not Hannah
Hannooh
the Indian said that in Nelsoons immediate future will be very dangerous and he will have to use his mind not his incredible super human strength
Nelsoon did not believe Hannooh so he stabbed her with her own spear in the neck
Nelsoon went down a spiraling stairway for what seemed to be hours
and the deeper he got the louder the screams were
until finally he reached the bottom
there was no light and he could only see black for miles it seemed
suddenly there was a clap and hundreds of torches ignited
Alisoon was in a cage and Lauroon was guarding the cage
but Lauroon was too stupid and way too fat to have done this all by herself
and then......from the ceiling......came the evil sorceress Mrs. Hoond
not Mrs. Hand
Mrs. Hoond
IT WAS LAUROON'S MOM
OH NO
Alisoon's screams were blood curdling
Mrs. Hoond made Lauroon attack Nelsoon but a bullet in the forehead quickly stopped Lauroon from proceding
Mrs. Hoond was enraged
she slowly walked toward Nelsoon in her hott leather boots
Nelsoon was petrified
he dropped his gun his sword and his pants
Mrs Hoond immediately stopped
the pure super sexy hottness of Nelsoons man-meat halted her in her tracks
Nelsoon quickly returned to conscienceness and realized his great power
he slowly approached Mrs Hoond
she began to run but then so did Nelsoon
Nelsoon pinned Mrs Hoond to the ground and ravaged her body
when Mrs Hoond could no longer hold it in she screamed
not just any scream
a scream that came from the depths of hell
it seemed to last an eternity
until her head exploded
and then Nelsoon got up, zipped up his pants, and walked over to the cage holding The Beautiful Alisoon
when his eyes first touched hers it was a love so deep
a love so true
a love that could not ever be penetrated by anything
Nelsoon ripped apart the bars of the steel cage
and took Alisoon in his arms
he carried her up all of the stairs and out of the castle gates
and promised to make sweet sweet love to her everyday for the rest of his life
And so he did
And they lived happily ever after | | |
| Remember kids, ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Love,
Nelson | | |
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